


What Doesn't Kill You

by Callisto_HK



Series: A Different Normal [2]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Case Fic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 18:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7475571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callisto_HK/pseuds/Callisto_HK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After what happened to Tony in 'A Different Normal', now he has to face a whole new set of problems that might be even harder to deal with. A sequel 'A Different Normal'. /Set during season 8.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tony walked towards his desk slowly and sat down behind it. He hadn't felt like coming back to work that day. It had been a week since he'd been back to work and he still wasn't used to all these changes.  
  
But more than anything today was the first day that McGee and Ziva would come back to work. He so wasn't looking forward to seeing them.  
  
Gibbs had once told him that they wanted to visit him in the hospital, but he wasn't ready, and Gibbs never pushed. After his long talk with Gibbs, he really tried to bring himself to talk to the junior agents, but he just couldn't find it in him. So he had passed the message and had happily postponed the confrontation to a later time.  
  
And for once, it seemed like that they were respecting his wishes, because they hadn't tried to go and see him at his place after he was released from the hospital, either. Or maybe that was just because they weren't comfortable seeing him at his home.  
  
Anyway, here he was, sitting behind his desk at 0630 in the morning, going through another cold case; the same thing that he had been doing since coming back to work; and waiting for his so called teammates to show up on their first day back.  
  
Glancing at the file on his desk, he tossed his pen on it and leaned back. He didn't feel like working. He had even thought about calling in sick.  
  
The nightmares had somehow started to fade and he felt extremely good about being able to walk around without jumping out of his skin and reaching for his Sig at any tiny sound when he was alone. But his shoulder still ached and his leg felt weird. Physical therapy and not taking the painkillers could do that to you, though. But he knew better than that, he couldn't hide in his home forever. It was now or never. He had to face them, eventually.  
  
"Let's get it over with." he sighed and grabbed his pen again, deciding not to think about what was going to happen next.  
  
"Get over with what?" Gibbs walked into the squad room.  
  
"Hey Boss." Tony looked up. "With the paperwork." He lied without hesitation." I'm sick of it. Can't you just let me back to the field?"  
  
"Do I look like an idiot to you, DiNozzo? I didn't get you back so I could kill you myself." He walked to his desk and sat. Looking at Tony, he found the younger man pale and tired. "You alright, DiNozzo?"  
  
Tony turned his eyes from the apparently very interesting spot on the opposite wall and looked at his boss. "Never felt better, Boss."  
  
Gibbs didn't buy it for a second, but he let it slide. "It's still not too late to change your mind."  
  
"About what?" Tony's confusion seemed genuine.  
  
"Ziva and McGee."  
  
"Oh. No. It'll be OK. Just don't expect me to go all Abby and hug them when they walked in."  
  
Gibbs couldn't help but chuckle as he imagined that. "Nobody expects you to hug anyone on your best day. Let alone now."  
  
"Good. 'Cause it'd look a little awkward."  
  
A few minutes later the elevator dinged and Ziva and McGee stepped out. They both seemed very reluctant to walk into their usually warm and friendly squad room. Tony looked at Gibbs for a second and turned back to his work.  
  
"You waiting for an invitation?" Gibbs called out harshly. "Get your asses to your desks."  
  
Ziva and McGee shared a glance and quickly walked to their desks. But seeing Tony with his left arm still in a sling, they stopped again.  
  
"Tony." They called hesitantly.  
  
It was the first time after almost one month that they were meeting their friend. They had heard about his condition form the Director, but they didn't know anything in detail. Nobody would talk to them. It seemed like everybody had boycotted them.  
  
Tony didn't even look up. He nodded solemnly. "Paperwork doesn't get done by itself. Start your work already." He could feel all eyes on him. Gibbs was in his overprotective mode and he was ready to jump and rip McGee or Ziva apart if it was needed.  
  
Ziva looked at McGee and decided that she couldn't wait any longer. "Tony, we need to talk."  
  
"It's Agent DiNozzo to you." Gibbs voice startled them both.  
  
McGee gulped, Ziva's reaction was more complicated; it was something between rage and shame. And Tony... Well, he had to bend his head even more, so they couldn't see the shadow of the grin that had appeared on his face.  
  
"He's your superior and any sign of insubordination that I see from either of you, you're fired. Hell, even if I feel that you're not respectful enough, you're fired. Is that clear?" Gibbs had said the same words before, but he wanted to tell them in front of Tony. He wanted Tony to hear that he had his back and he wouldn't let things get that bad again.  
  
McGee and Ziva nodded.  
  
"Yes, Boss." McGee said.  
  
"And that's Agent Gibbs till the further notice. You have to prove yourselves before you start calling us anything else." Gibbs announced. "Get to your desks."  
  
Ziva turned and walked towards Gibbs' desk. "We need to solve our problems first." She whispered to Gibbs.  
  
"You don't need to do jack squat unless Agent DiNozzo or I say so, Probationary Agent David." Gibbs didn't follow her example in whispering.  
  
Ziva sighed and walked back to her desk. Sitting down, she turned her computer on, but she couldn't help but stare at Tony, who had done nothing but stare at whatever he was working on.  
  
He hadn't said anything else apart his first short sentence. She knew that it would be hard to fix things, but she had counted on Tony's always happy demeanor. She wasn't ready for this. She thought that Tony would forget it eventually.  
  
The fact that Tony was ignoring her was more painful than she could imagine. She had taken Tony and his good spirit for granted and now she had to pay for that.  
  
"Probationary Agent McGee, get your ass to your desk or get the hell outta here." Gibbs' harsh word brought her mind back to the squad room and she just realized that Tim was still standing in front of Tony's desk.  
  
"Sorry, Boss. Umm..., I mean agent Gibbs." he walked quickly to his desk.  
  
He wasn't better than Ziva. To tell the truth he was worse; he had been working with Tony longer than Ziva had and he couldn't imagine not having Tony on his side. He knew that he had been mean to Tony and he was sorry, but the thing was that he had no idea how to fix their friendship.  
  
He was hoping that Ziva could do all the hard work, but obviously things were worse than what he had imagined.  
  
Damn. Of course it was. They had let Tony down so bad that it was a miracle that he was there at that moment.  
  
He dared to toss a glance Tony's way. He hadn't seen him in the hospital. He didn't really know what was going on under that expensive suit. The sling holding his injured arm and the faded bruises on his face and neck were the only visible things for him to see. What was going on underneath Tony's clothes, he had no idea.  
  
He turned his attention back to his keyboard and suddenly wished for Tony to superglue it to his fingers. _'God, what wouldn't I give for one of his stupid pranks.'_ The tension in the room was just too high. He wasn't sure if he could continue working there for a long time.  
  
Abby's arrival made him smile. He sighed with relief and hoped that she could somehow make the tension dissipate. But he was wrong. She completely ignored both him and Ziva and went straight to Tony's desk.  
  
"Hey there, Tony-boy. How was your weekend?" She asked cheerfully as she sat on the edge of his desk.  
  
"Good morning, Abs. You were there for most of it. You know how it was." Tony dropped his pen and leaned back.  
  
"But I left early. I don't know what happened next." She complained.  
  
"It was half past eleven when you left, Abby. How do you call that early?" Gibbs replied instead.  
  
' _OK, that is it. They are trying to torture us by ignoring us and talking about their marvelous time together.'_ Ziva sulked and grabbed her pen to start her work, determined not to listen to their conversation. Tony helped her with that.  
  
"Can we talk about it later?" He asked. "I don't think this is really a good time for that." He remembered how he felt when he had been ignored as a child and even by the team at some stages and he wouldn't wish it upon anyone, not even the very people who had betrayed him. He wasn't like that. I mean, sure he was mad at them but ignoring people like that would be too rude and hurtful and he wasn't like that.  
  
Abby frowned and looked at Gibbs, concern clear in her eyes. "Alright. Anyway, that's not the only reason that I came up here. I need to talk to you about a case. Both of you are needed."  
  
Gibbs finally looked up when she didn't say anything else and just stood there, waiting. "You wanna tell us anytime today, Abby?"  
  
"Here?" She asked with wide eyes. "Oh no. You two will come down to my lab and I'll tell you about it."  
  
"Then why didn't you just call?" Tony asked.  
  
"I need to leave that lab every now and then, you know? Besides, I wanted to come here and see you first." She smirked. They all knew what she meant.  
  
"Then, let's go down, Abby." Gibbs stood. "DiNozzo?"  
  
"Coming, Boss." Tony stood up and grabbed his cane. He hated the thing with a passion, but he wasn't stupid, he knew he needed to let his leg heal, or he had to stay behind even longer.  
He didn't fail to notice Ziva and McGee's wide eyes and the pity that crossed their faces for a second. He ignored all of them and walked slowly out of the bullpen, having both Abby and Gibbs on each side, matching their steps with him.  
  
"I didn't know it was this bad." McGee looked at Ziva when they were finally alone.  
  
"He was in a hospital for almost two weeks. What did you expect to see, McGee?" Ziva retorted.  
  
"Oh now you're going to take your anger out on me?" He asked angrily.  
  
"I am not going to do anything but my damn job right now. You better do the same thing."  
  
"What's your problem? What happened that damn night wasn't just my fault. And it sure is not my fault that things are worse than what you thought they would be."  
  
Ziva finally looked up at McGee, her eyes showing her sadness. "I did not realize I was so dependent on him and his ..." She looked down. "Forget it."  
  
McGee sighed. "What are we supposed to do now, Ziva? How can we fix it? He doesn't trust us. Hell, he doesn't want to see us. I'm surprised that he has accepted to work with us again. When Gibbs told us that we could come back to work; Probies, or not; I was so happy. I thought Tony has forgiven us. I didn't expect to see this." He waved his arm in the air, pointing to Gibbs and Tony's now empty desks.  
  
"I do not know what to say. Do you think he will ever forgive us?" she asked sadly.  
  
"I hope so. He's given us a second chance. I'll try my best not to let him down this time. I gotta say, though, I'm not sure how long I can stand it and work in an atmosphere like this. Abby didn't even acknowledge us; like we weren't even there. And we used to be so close." McGee sighed again. "Gibbs is ready to tear us apart any second and Tony... Well, Tony not being Tony is bad enough that I don't think I need to add anything else. It's suffocating that he's not talking or looking at us."  
  
"I think he hates us." Ziva nodded. "Do you think Ducky would tell us about his injuries?"  
  
"Not in this lifetime." McGee closed his eyes. "Maybe we could find out about them in his file."  
  
Ziva's head snapped up at that. "Do not dare, Tim. You just gave me a lecture about behaving and now you are talking about breaking into his personnel file? Forget about it. I will tell Gibbs if you do such thing."  
  
McGee held up his hands in the air. "Alright, alright. I was just suggesting. So, do you have a better idea?"  
  
"I'd rather stay in the dim light than betraying him again."  
  
"Stay in the dark. Not dim light. Where do you get those words from? You know the meanings of the expressions and you can't remember the right word?"  
  
"Does that really matter right now?" She pouted. "Get back to your work. I do not want Gibbs to yell at me again. I have had enough for one day."  
  
"I've had enough for a lifetime." McGee turned his computer on and didn't say anything else.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
... TBC ...


	2. Chapter 2

Down in the lab, Tony was sitting on Abby's chair as she and Gibbs were standing by a monitor, discussing a possible lead on a cold case.  
  
"I still think Tony has a point. Why would dear old Mr. Brenden leave so fast, if he didn't have anything to hide?" Abby queried.  
  
"Come on, Boss. Now that he's back, we can't just ignore the opportunity. It's worth a try." Tony insisted.  
  
"We can ask him a few questions, but we don't have enough reason to treat him like a suspect." Gibbs said. "Abby, couldn't you just tell us this up there? We had to come all this way down? It wasn't that important."  
  
"Are you getting old, Gibbs?" Abby giggled. "I needed you two down here, because I knew it'd kill them to know what's going on. I like to be mysterious."  
  
Gibbs couldn't help but smile. "Well, let's get back up and see if they have done anything yet."  
  
"We're going to check Mr. Brenden, though. Right Boss?" Asked Tony as if he hadn't heard anything other than their conversation about the case.  
  
"Not we, Tony. Just me. I'll go talk to him." Gibbs replied.  
  
"What? You can't go alone." Tony protested. "It might not look serious, but you need someone to have your back. Get McGee or Ziva with you."  
  
"Like I can trust them with my six." Gibbs growled.  
  
"You know they always have your back."  
  
"Doesn't mean I should trust them. Besides, I don't like to rely on probies when it comes to my life." Gibbs knew that both McGee and Ziva would have his back, but he wasn't about to let them off the hook so fast. "And it's beside the point and you know it."  
  
"Then I'm going with you. It's just a few questions, I can handle it." Tony said, as they stepped into the elevator.  
  
"You're not going anywhere, DiNozzo. Not until you've got a clean bill of health for field duty. It's just one more week." Gibbs tried to reassure him.  
  
"Yeah. Whatever." Tony sighed.  
  
"I need coffee."  
  
Tony smiled at that. "I was wondering when you would say that."  
  
Gibbs didn't say anything aloud but his eyes showed perfectly his thoughts, especially since Tony could read him like an open book.  
  
"Don't worry, Boss. I'm not a Baby. I can handle them. It's not my first time." Tony smiled. "I can be really scary, if I want to."  
  
"Have fun, then." He said to Tony when he walked out of the elevator.  
  
"Hey, you really are going for the coffee, right?" Tony suddenly stepped back to the elevator, facing Gibbs.  
  
Gibbs frowned in confusion. "Where else would I go?" Gibbs could feel the younger man's uncertainty, he'd hoped that now that Tony was back with them, those kind of thoughts would lessen and for the most part they had. But there were times where Gibbs believed that Tony was still trying to hide, even from him, what he was really thinking.  
  
"I don't know. Questioning Brenden?"  
  
Gibbs rolled his eyes. "I won't go there alone. OK? I'll pass the case to another team if I have to. You happy now?"  
  
"Doing the happy dance on the inside." Tony stepped back again and let the doors slid close. He silently walked, well more like limped, back to his desk and sat down.  
  
"Tony?" Ziva called, but Tony ignored her. "Agent DiNozzo?" She tried again, this time she got a reaction.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Good, I have started thinking that there is something wrong with your hearing." She regretted her words as soon as they were out of her mouth. She didn't even know why such a snide remark had come to her mind, at all.  
  
"Oh. No, probationary Agent David. There's nothing wrong with my hearing. The blows to my head weren't hard enough to deafen me. Sorry to disappoint." Tony replied sarcastically.  
  
McGee looked at Ziva with disbelief, and then turned his head towards Tony. "How are you feeling, Tony? I mean, well, we tried many times to come and see you in the hospital, but... Umm, you didn't want to see us. And I... We understand. Because God knows that you've got every right to hate us at this moment. I just... Tony, we're sorry... We're really really sorry. We never wanted for you to get hurt. You have no idea what it felt like for us to find your car and all the blood around it."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. And it's a shame that I missed the fun part with you there in the road. But I was busy feeling something scarier than a bloody crime scene." Tony cut him off sharply; still not looking at him. "I don't care how you felt or what you think right now, McGee. Get back to your work. That's what you're here for."  
  
McGee stared at him. Ziva looked at McGee and then back at Tony. "We are trying to apologize. Is there any hope you will forgive us one day? That we get back to what we used to be?"  
  
"Let's stop pretending." Tony finally looked directly into her eyes. What she saw in those green eyes frightened her to the core, and everyone knows that she doesn't get scared easily. It was unnerving, though, because she expected to see anger or sadness, desolation; hell, even hatred.  
  
But she wasn't prepared for emptiness. And that was what she saw there.  
  
She couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand knowing that Tony didn't care about them, about her, anymore; couldn't stand knowing that there was no feeling in his eyes or his heart, anymore. Hatred was better than this.  
  
She had to look down.  
  
"I tried." Tony continued. "I really tried. But I just don't think that we can ever get back what we once had. Because it's never going to be the same, again."  
  
"We'll give anything to take back what we did, Tony. Anything." Tim talked, sounding desperate.  
  
Tony shook his head. "It doesn't really matter. I don't think I can trust you again."  
  
That hurt Tim more than he thought it would.  
  
"But you let us back." Ziva said hopefully. "Maybe we could work things on." she used the wrong word deliberately, wanting Tony to correct her. But he didn't.  
  
Tony kept staring at her, the emptiness still in his eyes. "You're here because I couldn't understand why you did what you did. I wanted to talk about it; I thought it was important to find out. But I don't really think it is, anymore. I don't even wanna know, because I can guess your lame excuses and I don't feel like wasting my time listening to you coming up with some stupid answers." He paused. "You've been working here too long; I'm not gonna be the reason for this team to fall apart. I can't trust you, but consider it as a second chance, a second chance after a huge screw up; because I've given you second chances way too many times. We're going to work together. Maybe one day we could be real teammates again."  
  
"Not friends?" She asked.  
  
Tony turned his attention back to his computer, letting her question hang in the air.  
  
...  
  
The rest of the morning passed in absolute silence. Not even Gibbs' return changed anything, as he wasn't exactly the talkative type. And it was then that even Gibbs missed their old days. Days when Tony would take care of the silence; when Tony wouldn't let them get drown in the cruelty of the world they knew better than the ordinary people.  
  
But Tony was silent. He wouldn't even look up from his files. McGee and Ziva wouldn't dare to utter a word, either.  
  
So there wasn't any other option. He could go see Abby or Ducky. He could go get another coffee. But he didn't want to leave Tony, again. Not because he was worried. He knew damn well that they probably had talked that morning when he had left for his second coffee and they all looked fine. Relatively speaking. So there was nothing to be worried about.  
  
No. He didn't want to leave Tony, because he knew Tony couldn't really leave his desk and if bearing this silence was hard for him; he, who was used to working in silence for hours or days on a boat in his basement; then it must be hell for Tony who was so alive and active all the time.  
  
Yes, Tony might be living alone and he might be used to silence and loneliness, as well, but the difference was that Tony was always so energetic, he hated spending his days behind a desk, and now he couldn't even walk easily from his desk to Abby's lab.  
  
So he stayed. He stayed and kept Tony company, as much as he could.  
  
When it was the time for the lunch break, he couldn't help but feel happy. He couldn't remember a day when he'd felt so happy for giving the team a break.  
  
"DiNozzo, lunch break." He just used Tony's name, but he meant for McGee and Ziva to hear him, as well. They got the message and stood up silently, eager to leave the office even for a short time.  
  
"Not really hungry, Boss." Tony didn't move. "But of course, it wasn't a request, was it?" He added when he saw Gibbs' glare.  
  
"Damn right it wasn't. Come on. We'll get something and then you'll let Ducky take a look at you." Gibbs walked towards him.  
  
"My day's just going to get more interesting." He murmured to himself as he stood and grabbed his cane, following Gibbs to the elevator.  
  
...  
  
By the time the workday was finished, McGee and Ziva grabbed their backpacks and started to leave.  
  
"What's your plan for tonight, Tony?"  
  
Gibbs couldn't believe his ears when Ziva posed the question. He fought the urge to tell her again that she wasn't allowed to call Tony by his first name, and instead waited for Tony's reaction.  
  
"I don't think that's any of your concern, Probationary Agent David." Tony said dryly.  
  
"Umm- I just wanted to invite you for a dinner. you know for-"  
  
Tony cut her off. "Thanks but no thanks. I think I made myself clear that I'm having a hard time forgiving and forgetting here."  
  
McGee left the bullpen without a word and nodded towards to the elevator for Ziva to do the same.  
  
"I can't get it. Am I really supposed to move on so easily? Like nothing has happened?" Tony looked at Gibbs when they were alone in their area of bullpen.  
  
"You know my answer."  
  
"Then why? Would they do anything different if they were in my shoes?" Tony rubbed his temple, his headache was back and it was killing him. "Well, I don't really care. I'm done with what I used to be. Maybe it's really time I grew up, as they always used to say."  
  
"You mean it's the time to let them see who you really are?"  
  
Tony smiled. "I don't think I could be that cruel. Not even after something like this. It even scares _me_ , sometimes."  
  
"That also could be too boring." Gibbs agreed.  
  
"Oh, I knew you would miss my banter."  
  
"Don't get too excited. The bullpen is just too quiet and we're still working just on cold cases."  
  
"Same thing, different phrases." Tony grinned.  
  
"Let's go. It's time for your physical therapy, isn't it?"  
  
"I still can call a cab, Boss."  
  
"Shut up." Gibbs gave him a mild head-slap, aware of his headache. "I can't trust you to go to hospital if I leave you."  
  
"Why wouldn't I take the last 3 sessions, when I've been going through it for the last 3 weeks?"  
  
"Maybe because you always think that you can do the rest by yourself."  
  
Tony thought for a few seconds. "Good point. Will we get a pizza on the way?"  
  
Gibbs looked at him like he had said the weirdest thing in the world. "Seriously, DiNozzo? Can you even smell a pizza without puking?"  
  
"I can eat it with no problem."  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Ahhh, Abby was more fun."  
  
"That's why she is not allowed to take you to the hospital anymore. I need you back in the field. How can you come back if you weigh more than 300 pounds because of eating all that junk food?" Gibbs pointed out.  
  
"With what they make me do in those sessions, I'd be lucky if I don't lose any weight."  
  
"No Pizza. And that's it." Gibbs said firmly, as he opened the door for Tony and helped him to sit in the car.  
  
Tony rolled his eyes. "I think I should've accepted Ziva's invitation."  
  
Gibbs noted that it was the first time after almost one month that he had brought her name up without getting more upset. That was a start and he was happy for that. "You still can call her."  
  
"Yeah, sure." Tony laughed bitterly, and Gibbs felt that maybe Tony was just pretending to be cool around Ziva and McGee for his sake. That was the worst thing that could happen. Tony shouldn't feel the need to pretend in front of him. He needed to be himself; to show his true feelings somewhere, or it would break him down.  
  
...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
... TBC ...


	3. Chapter 3

It was 5 days later when Tony finally got his cleanr bill of health to get back to the field. It was the best feeling he'd had after being released from the hospital.  
  
Five days had passed and the tension in the squad room had remained intact. He knew how hard it was for everyone. He really wanted to change it, but he just couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to act like everything was back to normal; like there had never been a problem. So, he decided to forget about it for the time being. _'Time will solve every problem.'_ He thought as he left the elevator towards Abby's lab.  
  
"Hey there Abby." He called out. "What's so important that you couldn't wait?"  
  
"Tonyyyyyyy." She shouted excitedly and hugged him.  
  
Tony was perplexed by her reaction. "Umm, what's going on, Abs?"  
  
"What do you mean what's going on? You're back." she pulled back.  
  
"Wasn't I supposed to come back today?"  
  
"No. I mean yes, of course you were supposed to come back today. I just meant that you're back; like you're completely back; 'back-to-active-duty' back. And now you'll get an actual case to work on. And that's great, because I could say that both you and Gibbs were losing your sanity. And as much as that was funny to watch, I was feeling really bad for you guys, and for everyone out there who was in trouble and needed the best agents ever to solve their cases and although Gibbs wasn't exactly just sitting behind his desk all this time and had worked on his own cases, he still wanted his team back and wanted you back, so you could get outta here and work out there as a team on some real cases and I feel like I've said this before, like just 2 minutes ago- ... And I'm rambling because I'm so excited." She took a deep breath and stopped.  
  
Tony was smiling widely and waited for her to catch her breath. "And how on earth did you find out that I'm clear to come back to work? I haven't told anyone, yet."  
  
"Oh, I have my sources." She said proudly. "But that's not the point. The point is you're back. How are you feeling?"  
  
"Like I'm going to have a really bad headache if you don't let me go back to my desk ASAP. Because I'm sure Gibbs will give me the hardest headslap ever. Like you said, he's losing his sanity over cold cases." Tony winked.  
  
"What? But you must be happy"  
  
"I am happy, Abs. More than you can imagine." He said over his shoulder as he left Abby with her babies.  
  
...  
  
Although he was clear for field duty, it took a while for them to reassure Vance about it and get a real case. The fact that Gibbs had put McGee and Ziva on desk duty and wouldn't' let them out was concerning Vance. He had willingly accepted to demote them. He didn't care about it as long as he had them in the agency. After all, McGee was the type of agent he liked and Ziva was his friend's daughter. But he didn't know how long they would stand it if Gibbs kept treating them the way he was these days.  
  
.  
  
"I can't let you go on like this, Gibbs. You want to work on a real case; you have to share it with everyone on your team."  
  
"With all due respect, Leon, that's really non of your business. How I handle my team and who I choose to work with on a case, is my call and I know perfectly well what I'm doing." Gibbs had said in his usual grumpy manner.  
  
.  
  
And Vance knew that he couldn't argue with him about that. So, he had no choice but to give in and hand Gibbs back the newest case that had come in.  
  
...  
  
"DiNozzo, grab your gear. We have a missing marine." He called for Tony as he descended the stairs. Ziva and McGee looked up at him, wondering why he had just called Tony.  
  
"What about us?" Ziva asked.  
  
"You have paperwork to finish." He said as he went to his desk and grabbed his own gear.  
  
"What? You cannot do that. Even probationary agents are allowed to go in to the field." She complained.  
  
"It's my call and I say you are not ready for field duty." Gibbs passed Ziva's desk and walked towards the elevator. "I want those forms on my desk by the time I get back." And that was it before he and Tony left the bullpen.  
  
"He is driving me crazy. What do they want us to do? Is he trying to make us resign?" she asked angrily.  
  
McGee was frustrated, as well. "It's been one week and there's no change. I can't believe it. They are all still ignoring us. I don't think I can stay here much longer." He knew that he didn't really mean it, but he couldn't help feeling useless and tired.  
  
Ziva put her head on her desk. "I wish they would give us some clue." She suddenly rose her head. "Maybe we should talk to Tony. Yes. That is the only way. Everyone will listen to him."  
  
"WOW. You're a genius, Ziva. Why haven't I thought of that myself?" McGee quipped. "Talking to Tony? Really? Isn't that what we've been trying to do for the last five weeks? Isn't he the reason that nobody acknowledges us? If he wanted to listen to us, we wouldn't be where we are right now." He growled.  
  
"No, McSmartAss."  
  
McGee winced at the nick name. He wished he could hear it from Tony. "Now you're channeling Tony."  
  
"I am not talking about him forgiving us, I know he cannot do that; at least not so soon. I am talking about the field duty. I think he will listen and he will let us in."  
  
"And why do you think he would listen?"  
  
"Because he cares about the job more than anything and he might be angry and disappointed with us, but he never lets his personal feelings affect the job. We just have to wait and find him alone."  
  
"Good luck with that." McGee shrugged and turned back to his computer.  
  
...  
  
"Tony, umm, Agent DiNozzo. Can we talk to you for a second? It is really important." Ziva said in a low voice as they found him alone in the bullpen a little after their lunch time.  
  
"What is it?" Tony looked up.  
  
 _'My God, he looks tired; even older. I'm forgetting how he looked when he smiled. And he used to do that all the time.'_ McGee stared at him with a mild shock.  
  
"Anytime today?" Tony prodded as he found both of them quiet.  
  
"Umm. It... It is about the field duty. I mean, could you please talk to Gibbs? We cannot stay behind our desks any longer. I know it is part of our punishments, but please, Tony. Do whatever else. Just let us back to active duty. Gibbs will listen to you if you talk to him."  
  
"And why do you think that I'm OK with you to come back to the field, Miss David?"  
  
"Because... Because... I… Well, I do not know. I just thought... You are right. Forget it." She started to turn back.  
  
Tony's voice stopped her. "I'm pretty sure that you'll have Gibbs' six out there. I don't trust you, but I know you wouldn't be so careless when it comes to anyone else. I'll talk to Gibbs."  
  
"Tony, we'll have your six, too. I'll do everything to make sure you are safe." She swallowed the lump in her throat.  
  
"Of course." he snorted. "I said I'll talk to Gibbs." He added wearily before walking out of the bullpen.  
  
...  
  
"David, get McGee and go to this address." Gibbs threw her a piece of paper and a case file at the desk. "Read the file before getting there. I want you to find out what lieutenant Lisa Markham had to do with that guy and why his name was all over her room."  
  
Ziva looked at the name, Steve Murray, and jumped at the opportunity. She tossed a grateful look towards Tony, mouthing thank you, before talking to Gibbs. "Yes Gibbs."  
  
"Agent Gibbs." Gibbs corrected.  
  
"Of course. Yes, Agent Gibbs." She said happily before almost running out of the bullpen with McGee on her heels.  
  
"You're too nice to them." Gibbs growled.  
  
"It's been more than one month. We agreed to let them back. There's only so much paperwork to be filled. We're running out of paperwork." Tony grinned.  
  
"You trust them?" Gibbs asked.  
  
"I'm not out there with them. I trust them with the job. They know how to do it."  
  
"They had good teachers." Gibbs half smiled. "Anything about the roommate?"  
  
"The movie roommate? 2011? Oh, I haven't watched it. I don't really like those kind of movies, but I've heard about the story-"

The slap to the back of his head stopped him.  
  
It was a long time since the last time that Tony had talked about a movie. Gibbs was glad to hear him talk like that, but he wasn't about to show it. And he knew that Tony didn't want it, either. So he did what he usually would do in those situations and slapped Tony.  
  
"Oh, you didn't mean the movie, Gotcha, Boss... Umm, well in that case, yes I know about Lisa's roommate, too. Actually I know about her even more than I know about that movie. So, where do you want me to start from?"  
  
"I don't care, DiNozzo. Just talk before I lose the last remainder of my patience."  
  
"Like you didn't lose it years ago." Tony murmured, before continuing. "OK, here's what I've found about her." He brought up her picture to the big screen and started to talk about her.  
  
Tony had just finished talking about Andrea, Lisa's roommate, when Gibbs' phone rang.  
  
"Gibbs." he answered his phone.  
  
"Boss. We're at Steve Murray's place. But we have a problem here. We can't ask him anything."  
  
"Why? You forgotten how to question a suspect, now?" He barked.  
  
Gibbs could actually hear McGee swallowing thickly. "Um, no, Sir. I mean, Agent Gibbs. The problem is that he's dead. His place is a mess."  
  
"What? Couldn't you just say it in the beginning? Don't touch anything. We're on our way." He hung up with that.  
  
"DiNozzo, call Ducky and give him Murray's address. And grab your gear. We've got another dead body."  
  
...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
... TBC ...


	4. Chapter 4

McGee wasn't exaggerating when he'd said that the place was a mess. It took them hours to bag and tag everything. Finally after a few hours, Gibbs left Ziva and McGee back to do the final things at the scene and he got back to the Navy Yard with Tony.  
  
They walked to the bullpen and went straight to their desks. At least, Gibbs went straight to his desk.  
  
Tony started to feel light headed and before he could reach his chair, all of a sudden he felt like his legs wouldn't carry him any longer. Good thing that he was almost beside his desk. He grabbed the edge of it and bent down. Taking a deep breath, he waited a few moments for the dizziness to pass, but that didn't really help him, so he silently sank to the floor before his legs would stop holding him up. Leaning against the back of his desk, he closed his eyes. He was suddenly so tired that he didn't care who was looking at him or what they'd think if they saw him like that.  
  
Gibbs was the only one around though, he'd been about to sit on his chair when his eyes caught Tony on the floor. "Whoa, what happened?" He was by Tony's side in the blink of an eye.  
  
"Don't know." Tony replied, his voice barely louder than a whisper. He was rubbing his chest with his left palm and Gibbs could see the slight shaking of his hand.  
  
"I'll just call Ducky. Stay still." Gibbs said as he grabbed Tony's desk phone and dialed the autopsy's number.  
  
"Ducky, I need you up here. Something is wrong with DiNozzo." He didn't need to elaborate. Ducky was on his way before Gibbs could end the call.  
  
"What happened, Jethro?" Ducky said a couple of minutes later as he entered the bullpen. He knelt down next to Tony, who now had his eyes open.  
  
"Don't know, Duck. One second he was fine, the next he was on the floor. He was rubbing his chest."  
  
"I wasn't." Tony protested.  
  
Gibbs merely glared at him.  
  
"Can you tell me how you feel, Anthony?"  
  
"Well, I feel better now. But a few minutes ago I felt like I was about to collapse with tiredness. I don't know what really happened. It just felt like I was floating." Tony explained.  
  
Ducky took his stethoscope and listened to Tony's chest for a few seconds, before looking up. "Your heartbeat is a little irregular, but no need to worry, my dear boy. These kind of reactions are not unexpected after being shocked."  
  
"Shocked?" Tony blinked in confusion.  
  
"Yes, Anthony. Shocked. Last month, back at that house." Ducky reminded him. "Now, don't tell me you've forgotten about it." He smiled.  
  
"Of course not. How could I forget it? But the key word is last month, Ducky. I thought my doctor said that there was no permanent damage to my heart." Tony didn't care if he was sounding scared. Hell, he _was_ scared. He didn't want to lose his job over a heart problem that wasn't even his fault.  
  
"You thought right, my boy. I told Jethro here, too. You were actually very lucky. Those shocks could've damaged your heart. But they didn't. You should expect to feel weakness and sudden fatigue for a while, though."  
  
"Like for how long?" Gibbs spoke up again.  
  
"It's different with each person. But it'll go away eventually and in the meantime, you don't need to worry about doing your job." He turned his gaze to Tony. "It won't happen when the adrenaline is high in your system. It won't affect your work that much. You just need to be a little more careful."  
  
"Why now? It's been more than one month and this is the first time. Why not before when I was still down?"  
  
"Because you haven't been doing much, before. You have been resting the past month. This is actually your first day back in the field."  
  
"It's not like we've been chasing a suspect or anything. We just went to a crime scene." Tony pushed himself up from the floor. Gibbs grabbed his arm and helped him to his chair.  
  
"It was a really messed up crime scene. You know that it is much different than just sitting behind a desk all day."  
  
"So he'll be fine, right? Maybe he should get some rest." Gibbs suggested.  
  
"No." Tony protested instantly.  
  
"Duck?" Gibbs ignored him.  
  
"That would be helpful, but not necessary." Ducky replied.  
  
"You'll go to the lab and lie down; and before you open your mouth, that's an order. Case can wait. Go and rest for a few minutes."  
  
Tony rolled his eyes. He really wasn't in the mood to argue with Gibbs. "Fine."  
  
"You need help?"  
  
"No, Boss. I told you. I'm fine now. Sudden fatigue or whatever it was, it's gone now." Tony said as he walked towards the elevator.  
  
"He still looks pale. Is he really-"  
  
"He's fine, Jethro." Ducky smiled. "I told the truth when I said he can do his job. He just needs to sit or better lie down a few minutes, when he has one of those attacks. Now that he's off his pain meds, he might feel a little pain, but that will go away with time, too."  
  
Gibbs heaved a sigh of relief. "Alright, Duck, thanks. I just don't want to risk his life just because he's tired of desk work."  
  
"I understand. But you're not putting his life at any more risk than what you all face in an attempt to do your job on a regular basis."  
  
"Anything about the dead body?" Gibbs changed the subject. He was done with showing his soft side in public.  
  
"Jethro, I hadn't even loaded the body on the table when you called me up. I left Mr. Palmer to do that all on his own. And now that you mentioned it, I think I better go back to my work. That poor man needs me more now."  
  
...  
  
McGee was ordered to get the evidences to Abby's lab as soon as he got back. But to be completely honest, he was scared of Abby's reaction to seeing him in her lab. They hadn't talked much, if at all, in the past few weeks. She kept ignoring him and that was killing McGee more than anything. Taking a deep breath, he entered the lab. He saw Abby and Tony in the far corner; Abby gave Tony a hug before he turned around and walked towards the door, passing by him, like he wasn't there at all.  
  
 _'Man, is it just me or is he actually paler than before?'_ He thought to himself.  
  
Abby also turned back to her compute, after turning her music on.  
  
McGee coughed, trying to get her attention, but Abby didn't acknowledge him.  
  
He coughed again.  
  
"Cover your mouth and leave my lab before passing me your germs." She called out finally.  
  
"Umm... I'm not sick. I just... Abby?" He would do anything to gain her full attention.  
  
"What do you want?" She said coldly.  
  
"I... Well, Gibbs told me to bring you these." He nodded to the bags in his hand.  
  
"It's Agent Gibbs to you." She said, not turning towards him. "Leave them there. I'll check them later."  
  
"He said it's urgent."  
  
"Doesn't mean you're needed here. Leave them there and go."  
  
"Abby, please." He begged. "How long is it going to be like this? We did a stupid thing. Alright. But don't you think that we've paid enough? We're sorry. What else do you want us to do?"  
  
"Paid enough? Paid enough, McGee?" She finally turned around, her face red with fury. "That's not even close to enough. Tony almost died because of your selfish action. He got tortured; shot, beaten, shocked, burned, drugged, strangled. Raped." She paused briefly on that and a deep sadness covered her face for a short while. "Just name it. All of that happened to him in less than one day and all because of you. Now you tell me, how could you have possibly paid enough for that? Huh?" She was shaking with rage. "Answer me!"  
  
Saying that McGee was shocked and taken aback would be an understatement. They hadn't been able to find out much about Tony's injuries and now the list that Abby had given him was just too much to take at once.  
  
 _'Shocked? Drugged? God... How... That's not what had happened to the previous victims.'_ He swallowed hard. ' _Raped? Tony? Burned?'_  
  
"He... I... I didn't know-"  
  
"Of course you didn't. You -" Abby had tears in her eyes. "Just get out, McGee."  
  
"Abby, I'd do anything to take it back. You know I would."  
  
"Too little, too late. Don't you think? Go, McGee. There's nothing you can do here. I'll call Gibbs when I have something." She turned back to work.  
  
"I want to fix it." McGee didn't give up. "Tell me what to do. Please, Abs. Tell me what should I do and I'll do it; whatever it is."  
  
"There's nothing, McGee. Don't you get it? Would you just move on and pretend that nothing has happened if your roles were reversed?" She looked at him again.  
  
 _'No way'_ McGee thought. He was almost sure that he wouldn't survive something like that and he didn't think he could ever look at the ones who had put him in that misery. Deliberately or not.  
  
"How long? How long do you think it'll take for things to get back to normal? How long till you forgive me?" He asked desperately.  
  
Abby laughed despite herself. "You really are clueless. Aren't you? This isn't about me. It's about Tony. He is the one who should forgive you. And you still can't see the depth of your folly. You still don't know what you've done to him. You're seeking my forgiveness, while you've ruined your precious friendship with Tony. You've lost his trust. Oh, you poor little thing. You've no idea what you've lost." Her voice was laced with disdain, something that McGee had never heard before.  
  
"Oh and by the way, things will never get back to normal. At least not the normal that you have in your little mind. Because for us, it's almost normal again. After one month, we're almost used to this new situation. And I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm missing those days. I'm missing the happy semi-family we used to have before that day. I'm missing our friendly banter. I'm missing it like hell." Her voice shook a moment. "But I'm getting used to it. So will you after a while. Because this is how it's gonna be from now on."  
  
McGee sighed and tried to approach her, but he stopped when she stepped back. "Help me here, Abby. Are you happy like this? I wanna fix things. Of course I want Tony to forgive me. I know how much I've lost because of that damn night. But I want it back and I won't stop before I get it back. I'll prove myself to Tony. I'll try everything in my power to get back his trust and his friendship. But I need your help. I'm asking you Abby. Tell me what to do."  
  
"You didn't ask me what to do that night. You did it all alone. Oh no, you had Ziva with you. Go and ask her to help you, again. Leave me out of this. You do whatever it's needed. If you get Tony's trust and friendship back, you'll have mine, as well." She paused. "Almost. And yes, I'm happy. I am happy that we still have Tony around. I am happy that Tony hasn't lost himself to the cruelty of that day. I'm happy that he's here in one piece and you should be happy that he has such a big heart, or you wouldn't be here right now, trying to buy yourself more trouble by spending your time down here, while Gibbs is still not sure whether or not he wants to keep you around." She smirked at the last part. "Hi Gibbs."  
  
McGee literally jumped out of his skin and turned around, finding Gibbs' furious face almost nose to nose with his own.  
  
He gulped. "Boss. Sorry. I... I'll just get back to work."  
  
Gibbs didn't say a word, just kept glaring at him, till he scurried back toward the elevator and was out of sight.  
  
"What was that about?" He then looked at Abby.  
  
"Nothing. I just gave him a piece of my mind." She declared.  
  
"Good girl, Abby." Gibbs smiled and kissed her on the chick. "Now, what do you have for me?"  
  
Abby scratched her temple. "Well, I know I can multitask, but this one was more important. I didn't have the time to even look at what he brought me."  
  
Gibbs nodded towards the bags on the other table. "Start working, then. I need some answers."  
  
"Alright, Bossman." she bounced as Gibbs left the lab.  
  
...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
... TBC ...


	5. Chapter 5

"What have you got for me, Duck?" Gibbs strode into the autopsy.  
  
"Nice timing, Jethro. I actually have something for you." Ducky looked up from his desk.  
  
"Talk to me then."  
  
"Yes. Well, poor Steven here had been beaten to death. The reason of his death is massive internal bleeding from a laceration to his liver. But I can say that he lost consciousness before that; several blows to the back of head and his temple being the reason for that."  
  
"Anything useful to solve the case?"  
  
"Now, Jethro, you can't expect me to solve your case just by dissecting a body." Ducky shook his head. "There's one other thing, though." He added and went to the body, turning its head, so Gibbs could see the back of his neck. "You see here? These bruises?"  
  
"They're finger shaped." Gibbs bent down to look closer.  
  
"They are, indeed. You can also see same bruises around his mouth, although they're very faded." He indicated to his face. "I was a little confused about it, at first. But now, I think I know what happened to this poor man. And I can say that it happened at least one day before the time of death."  
  
"Should I ask what?"  
  
"No, I was about to tell you." Ducky removed the sheet that was covering the lower part of the body, revealing more bruises on the man's thighs and his lower abdomen.  
  
"He's been raped?" A voice startled them both and they turned around to find Tony standing right behind Gibbs. His eyes locked with the body; lines of pain evident around his mouth and eyes.  
  
"Anthony."  
  
Tony looked up. "That's a yes, then, Huh? He's been raped." He concluded.  
  
"Yes, my dear boy." Ducky pulled the sheet up and covered the body.  
  
Tony's eyes darted away and looked up at the ceiling, his jaw set and his shoulder rigid. Gibbs kept staring at him, not wanting to pull the trigger by asking something when he could see how shaken up Tony was.  
  
"I... uh... I'll go get some coffee." Tony said before storming out of autopsy.  
  
"I didn't hear him coming or I wouldn't have brought that subject up." Ducky said to Gibbs ruefully.  
  
"I didn't hear him either; I think I better hand this case over to another team."  
  
"Jethro, you can't hand all your cases over to other teams. That would be harder for Tony. He needs to find his way back and sparing him the hard and unpleasant cases won't help him with that. What you have to do is to make sure that Anthony won't be alone. You need to let him deal with it. Just be there for him."  
  
"Easier said than done, Ducky, don't you think? I'll go find him." Gibbs said before leaving the autopsy.  
  
...  
  
Tony wanted to go and get a coffee, but somehow he ended up in his car. He just sat there, put his head on the steering wheel and closed his eyes. For the last month he had tried so hard to forget about that damn day and what happened to him. He had refused to meet a psychologist, he had refused to talk about it and even during his psych-eval he just gave the answers he knew they wanted to hear to clear him. Hell, he had refused to think about the real things and he was hoping that not thinking about it would make it better. Because time heals every wound, right? Well, apparently not this one. Or maybe it just needed longer. Like 10 more years.  
  
It wasn't easy for him to not think about that day. But he had busied himself and had managed to control his thoughts. And though the images were too vivid, he somehow knew how to ignore them.  
  
Now, though, it seemed impossible. He couldn't hide from them anymore. Now it seemed like everything was rushing back to his head full force and he just couldn't wipe the images; couldn't wipe the fear; or the feelings of self-loathing. He just couldn't go on like that anymore.  
  
It wasn't the case that bothered hi;, not even finding out that the poor guy had been raped. It was the memory that was troublesome; the memory that he had worked too hard to keep at bay. If he couldn't get a grip on himself, he couldn't continue working as an agent. He knew it as a fact.  
  
And that wasn't the only problem. The other problem was that he now doubted himself, thanks to his nonexistent backup.  
  
 _'How can I possibly protect the others, when I couldn't protect myself? Some kind of trained federal agent I am.'_ He hit the dashboard hard with his fist.  
  
A knock to the window startled him and he instantly grabbed his gun and aimed it at whoever was there. Finding Gibbs standing there holding his hands up, he lowered his weapon, and unlocked the door.  
  
Gibbs took it as a permission to get in the car, so he opened the door and silently sat in the passenger seat.  
  
After a few minutes passing in silence, finally Tony spoke up. "I can't do this, Gibbs. I thought I could, but I can't. My resignation letter will be on your desk by the end of the day." With that he opened his door and left the car. "Lock the door before leaving, will you?" He said before walking away, leaving Gibbs behind to absorb the shocking news.  
  
"Stay right there, DiNozzo."  
  
Gibbs called Tony before he could enter the elevator, Tony turned back and waited for him. He knew things wouldn't go that smoothly. Gibbs wouldn't just let him quit and he was sure about it. It didn't mean he would stay, though. He couldn't. It was as simple as that.  
  
"Get in." Gibbs ordered and they both stepped into the elevator.  
  
"You seriously want to have this conversation in the elevator?" Tony asked.  
  
"I don't see any reason why not." Gibbs flipped the switch and stopped the car. "Talk to me."  
  
"About what?" Tony knew what Gibbs meant, and he knew he couldn't hide the truth from his Boss anymore. He was busted after his nearly stupid breakdown in autopsy. But he didn't want to reveal more than needed. So he waited for Gibbs to get more specific.  
  
"Is that about McGee and Ziva?"  
  
"Yes and no." Tony answered curtly and found himself elaborating when he saw Gibbs glaring at him. "Yes, they're the reason that I'm leaving. No, it's not because they're back or because I can't stand to be in the same room with them"  
  
"So what is this about? Is that because of the body on the autopsy table? Are the memories back?" Gibbs asked for more detail.  
  
"Boss, I'm tired. Can't we just continue this later? Tonight at my place? Or yours?" Tony asked hopefully.  
  
"Not if you're stupid enough to resign before the day ends."  
  
"I can't stay. I can't go on like this. I..." He trailed off.  
  
"Why not, Tony? You haven't been worried before; why suddenly now?"  
  
"No, I wasn't worried before. I was damn scared. I just kept pushing everything away. But I can't do it anymore." His voice had slightly risen up.  
  
"DiNozzo, if you think I'm gonna let you quit that easily, you're a damn idiot. Now talk to me, or I'll make you to go through another damn psych eval."  
  
"You can't if I resign." Tony pointed out indifferently.  
  
"Dammi,t Tony. How many times do I need to tell you that I won't let you ruin your career and your life like that?" Gibbs was irritated, but his anger wasn't exactly aimed at Tony. "Now talk."  
  
"You won't understand." Tony said in a low voice.  
  
"Try me."  
  
"Tony. What is it? What's on your mind that you can't talk about it?" Gibbs pushed after a few minutes of silence and Tony trying not to look at him; it was clear he felt like he couldn't do it, like he felt so weak and exhausted by the whole thing.  
  
Closing his eyes, Tony leaned against the wall. "Please, Gibbs. Let me be. Just this once."  
  
"Not gonna happen. Now spit it out." He said a bit harshly. The tone made Tony angry, and that was exactly what Gibbs wanted to see. An angry DiNozzo was easier to handle. An angry DiNozzo wouldn't quit. An Angry DiNozzo would fight tooth and nail.  
  
"What do you want to know exactly, Gibbs? You wanna know that I can't stay because I can't trust myself? Because I don't know how in the hell you still trust me? Because I'm scared that I might get you or some poor civilian killed? Because I'm not man enough to suck it up and do my job? Do you know when was the last time that I could look at myself in the mirror? Like really looking? Do you know how it feels not to be able to look at your own reflection in the mirror because you know you'd get sick? Do you have any idea what it is like to look in the mirror and not see how weak you are? How pathetic?" At that point Tony was shaking hard with rage.  
  
"You want me to tell you how it felt when for the first and last time I stared at my reflection I ended up with a broken mirror and some cuts on my damn palm? Well, it hurt. More than anyone can imagine. Not the cuts. No. I had more to deal with than feeling the pain on my hand. It was something else that hurt. It hurt even worse when I realized that no painkiller could help it and I finally gave up on trying. And I'm telling you Gibbs, I tried damn hard and I was almost successful. Almost." He took a deep breath.  
  
"But now I can't do it anymore. I can't keep doing this and I know damn well that I won't be able to have your back or save anyone else when it matters the most. How could I do that when I couldn't save my own life? You can't change anything this time. I'm not gonna stay and be the reason for you getting hurt, or worse, killed."  
  
"And then what? You gonna sit on your couch and drink yourself to oblivion?"  
  
"It's better than committing suicide because of feeling guilty over your death." Tony shrugged. The rage was gone all of a sudden, leaving him exhausted.  
  
Gibbs slapped him hard over his head. "For the thousandth time, I won't let you quit. And it's not just about the job or me needing you here. It's because quitting is not the right thing to do. Believe me; I know what I'm talking about. You still have friends around here. People who would do anything to make sure you're one hundred percent back and we all will be there for you, every damn step. But it'll happen while you're here doing your job. You'll be off this case-" he held his hand up, wanting for Tony to let him finish.  
  
"Not because I don't trust you. I do trust you with my life and with everything else, but we'll discuss that part later. You're off this case because it's too close to home for you. There's no reason for you to push yourself too hard."  
  
"You don't understand-" Tony began, but Gibbs cut him off.  
  
"Yes, you might be right. I haven't really been in a situation like that. But what's it with you? You want me to tell you to suck it up and be a man? Well, you're not gonna hear that. Not from me and not from anyone else. Because what happened to you wasn't something to walk away from easily. Frankly, I'd be more concerned if you wouldn't show any sign of problem. Because that could only mean that you're not human. Tony, let us help you. Stay and give it some more time. You keep saying that I can't understand you, but can you understand my situation? I need to help you. I can't let you down again."  
  
Tony looked bewildered. "What are you talking about? What happened back then wasn't your fault. You have helped me through it, if anything."  
  
"You see? You don't understand. Would you just let me go, if it was me?"  
  
"No." Tony confessed. "But would you stay?"  
  
"Yes." Gibbs said without any hesitation.  
  
"You left when you couldn't stay anymore." Tony pointed to Gibbs' leave for Mexico.  
  
Gibbs sighed. "That was years ago. You weren't this wayward back then." He half smirked. "You couldn't do anything to keep me here. And I wasn't completely myself."  
  
Tony remained silent.  
  
"So you'll stay. Right?" Gibbs asked and received a curt nod from Tony in answer.  
  
"Don't let Abby know about your almost running away. She would lock you in her lab and keep you there for the rest of your life."  
  
Tony smiled at that. The picture could be funny. Really.  
  
"And we're not done, DiNozzo." Gibbs hit the switch and started the elevator. "But I'll accept your invitation. Tonight; your place. You'll buy dinner and beer. This was the longest I've ever talked my whole life and you owe me big time for that."  
  
"Now, I think I like your quiet version better." Tony smiled. "At least I wouldn't have to spend six months of my salary to pay you back."  
  
"Make it twelve. Tonight we're gonna have a long talk. Unless you actually start to listen to the voice of reason quickly." Gibbs pointed out and left the elevator. Tony hot on his heels.  
  
"What have you got?" Gibbs' grumpy voice had no trace of his friendly tone that he had been using in the elevator.  
  
Tony went straight to his desk and didn't even look at the two now Probies. He wasn't sure he could look at them and be able to keep his feelings and his anger at bay, at that moment. For him it was like having the reason of his misery right in front of his eyes, and yet not being able to get back at them.  
  
Deep inside he knew that they wouldn't intentionally hurt him, but their action and their betrayal had put him at risk and here he was. Unable to do the only thing he was sure he was good at. So, forgive him if he couldn't look at them or trust them, yet.  
  
Even listening to their voices was unnerving, but he knew he had to get used to it again, if he was going to stay. But he couldn't not feel happy when their short answer was that they still didn't have anything useful. And so they all turned back to work and kept quiet.  
  
They had to wait for Abby and hope that she would be able to find something on the evidences.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
... TBC ...


	6. Chapter 6

The rest of their day past almost in silence, all possible leads had turned out to be another dead-end. They had to wait for Abby to come up with something from the evidence.

It was nearly at the end of the day when Vance called Ziva and McGee to his office. They were clearly reluctant to go there, but what other choice did they have?

"I'm going to get a coffee." Gibbs growled before walking out, knowing that he would interrupt Vance's private meeting with his two agents and he didn't want to do that. He would find out about it later.

...

"You wanted to see us, Sir?" McGee asked as they entered Vance's office.

"Come on in. Sit down."

McGee and Ziva exchanged a look and sat down. "What's wrong, Sir?"

"You mean you don't know?"

"Umm, yes, we do. I mean if this is about our mistake. Well, I thought we've received our punishments."

"It _is_ about your mistake. But this meeting is not about your punishment anymore. I wanted to see you, because I wanted to know about your situation."

"Excuse me?" Ziva asked.

"Your current situation, Agent David. You made a mistake and you've been punished for it. I think that's enough. As the Director of this agency I don't approve of the way Agents Gibbs and DiNozzo treat you. You two are good agents and invaluable for the agency. I don't want to see your skills being ignored."

"What is you point, Director?" Ziva asked, a little harshly. She wasn't intimidated by Vance. She knew that he couldn't really do anything to her because of his friendship with her father.

"My point, Agent David, is that you don't need to be probationary agents anymore. I can transfer you to other units and you can be in higher positions. For you agent McGee, I can send you to the Cyber crimes unit and you can retrieve your position as the team leader. No need to say that your pay checks will be back to normal."

McGee and Ziva stared at him in shock.

"Pack your stuff. You're off Gibbs' team. You can introduce yourself to your new teams, tomorrow morning." Vance smiled with triumph.

"No." Ziva spoke up first.

For McGee it was more persuasive. He liked his team, but it was before that fiasco. Now he felt like he had no place in Gibbs' team and who could not like to be a team leader?

Something didn't feel right, though. He couldn't accept the offer. He wanted to accept it and for a second, he was shocked by Ziva's sharp _'No'_. But then he saw what Ziva had seen a few moments sooner than him.

If he left then, there was no hope to fix what they had ruined. There was no return. No Abby. No Tony. Hell, No Gibbs. And he liked them. They had been his friends for years. They had been there for him when he needed them. Tony for one had helped him through more than he could count and although he had never thought about it like that, during that short moment everything changed in his mind. No. He couldn't leave. He meant it earlier when he told Abby that he would do anything to fix things.

Vance looked at Ziva in disbelief. "What?"

"No." McGee repeated Ziva's word. "Whit all due respect, Sir, we can't accept your offer. We've made a mistake and for once we want to accept the consequences of our actions. Good or bad." If it took weeks or months to fix it, then it took weeks or months. He wanted to fix what they had destroyed.

"Agent McGee, did I stutter when I said your talents are being wasted on Gibbs' team? I can't let that happen. You will meet your new team, tomorrow."

"No, Director. I will not. You want to fire me? Then, fire me. But if you make me change my team, I will resign. That would be a waste of my talent. No?" Ziva smirked. Unlike McGee she wasn't even tempted by Vance's offer. She was part of a team; they were her friends and family. There was no way she would leave them behind. Again.

She had taken them for granted. Taken _Tony and his friendship_ for granted. But now she could see and feel what she had lost and how much it had cost her. She was determined to find her way back and prove herself to Tony. Prove to him that she deserved his friendship.

McGee was still a little unsure, but he'd be damned if he would show it. So he kept staring at Vance; waiting for his reaction.

"Fine." Vance finally said. "But when you get too frustrated down there, don't come asking for my help. You had your chance."

"We will not." Ziva stood up. "Are we done here?"

Vance clearly looked angry. "Yes, Probationary Agent David. Dismissed."

...

"Did we make the right decision?" McGee asked Ziva once they were out.

" _I_ made the right decision. You have your own world. I cannot talk for you. If you want the job, go back in there and tell the toothpick." She used the nickname that Tony had given the Director. "He will be happy." She walked away.

McGee jogged to catch up with her. "No. No... I think I did the right thing, too. It was seductive, though. Wasn't it?"

"No." She said firmly and left him behind again.

 _'Dammit, even we can't talk and don't get in each other's faces, anymore. When is this nightmare going to be over?'_ McGee thought as he silently walked down the stairs.

They had thought that once they were back to the bullpen, they had to answer to Gibbs about what Vance wanted with them. They were surprised to find the bullpen empty. Apparently no one even cared to see what was happening to them.

Ziva sighed. She grabbed her stuff and strode out. McGee followed suit.

...

A knock on his door brought Tony out of his thought. He looked at his watch and found out that it had been more than two hours since he had arrived home and he was still in his suit and tie.

 _'Time sure can fly.'_ He thought to himself.

He had arrived home and decided to clean his place a little before Gibbs' arrival. But once he sat on his couch he had forgotten everything else. His mind was back to the events of that day; his feelings and Gibbs' words. He was thankful for his boss' help and he had accepted to stay, but he still wasn't sure if it was the right decision. The trust issue was fresh on his mind and he just couldn't shake it. Gibbs might trust him with his life, but he didn't trust himself with Gibbs' life; or anyone else's, for that matter.

"I decide to be polite and knock on your door, for once, and you choose the exact moment to ignore it?" Gibbs' voice jolted him a little.

"You have the key, why knock?"

"I thought you might not be decent." Gibbs shrugged.

"And since when do you care about that?" Tony's eyebrows raised.

Gibbs smirked and decided not to answer that one. "You just get home?" He asked instead, nodding to Tony's clothes.

"Umm, no. I just forgot to change."

Gibbs stared at him.

"I'm going to change my clothes. Be right back."

 _'What the hell have you been doing, Tony? And what am I supposed to do with you?'_ Gibbs thought as he eased himself down into the couch.

"You okay with Chinese?" Tony asked as he walked out of his bedroom, dressed in a T-shirt and a pair of sweat pants.

"That's better than Pizza. Yes."

Tony called and ordered their dinner before going to the kitchen and grabbing two cold beers.

Handing one to Gibbs, he sat on the other side of the couch. "Did you find out what Vance's private meeting was about?"

"No. I left with you. Remember?" Gibbs took a sip of his beer. "I don't care."

"You do."

Gibbs turned and looked at him.

"What? You do care and you know it. You're angry because you can't stand betrayal from people you trained and trusted so much. But that doesn't mean you don't care about them."

Gibbs raised his eyebrow.

"Don't look at me like that, Boss. I've spent too much time around you. I can see through your walls."

"What were you watching before I got here? Dr. Phil?"

Tony let out a small laugh.

"OK, I might care a little. But I figured we'll find out sooner or later. And I'm way too angry to think about them."

Tony just nodded his understanding.

"I'm not here for that, though."

Tony looked up from a particular spot on his floor and waited for Gibbs to continue.

"I'm here to give you this." Gibbs reached out and slapped Tony hard on the back of his head.

"Oww." Tony frowned and rubbed his head. "What was that for?"

"For giving up and for thinking about quitting. And this-" he slapped him again. "Was for doubting yourself."

Tony stood and sat on the other chair. "Something tells me that you're here to make sure that I'll have a concussion before midnight."

"Whatever it takes to open your eyes."

"My eyes are open. Actually I feel it's the first time that I've truly opened them." Tony's voice had something in it that sounded familiar to Gibbs. It almost sounded like when he had told Jenny that she could never use him again for her personal vendettas.

"Listen to me, Tony and listen very good. Because if you don't get what I'm saying the first time, I'll shoot you, right here on your couch. You hear me?" Despite his words, Gibbs' tone and expression were imploring, asking Tony to actually listen this time.

Tony rolled his eyes at those words.

Gibbs saw it. "I'll get back at you for that one." He leaned back. "I might have never been in a situation like what you have been, but I know the feeling very well. The reason might be different, but the feeling is the same."

Tony opened his mouth to object but Gibbs stopped him. "Shut up and let me talk."

Tony put his beer down and remained silent.

"Good. I know the feeling because I've dealt with it before. I felt it when my-" He paused and looked down at the floor. "When Shannon and Kelly died, I had exactly the same feelings. I couldn't stop thinking that how could I save the others, when I wasn't able to save my own family. They were my responsibility and I let them down. I doubted myself for a very long time because of that."

Tony felt bad for making Gibbs talk about a period of his life that he had suffered the most. _'Just how selfish are you?'_ He said to himself angrily. "Boss, stop. Please. I didn't mean to bring painful memories up. It's OK. Just please?"

"I said shut up, Tony. It might be my weak spot, but at least I can talk about it a little easier now. You see? I still haven't learned to live with it. But that's not the point. The point is your eyes are not open. They're actually tightly shut. You're drowning yourself in self-resentment and you're so down that you can't see the truth anymore. I don't suggest you to see a shrink, because I don't think any shrink can help you with this. You must have felt the feeling to know how to take care of it and how many shrinks have had such experience? And I know. I know that neither you nor I are to blame and self-hatred wouldn't help anyone."

"I tried. I resisted. I... I couldn't do anything when she-" Tony lifted his head and Gibbs saw the turmoil in his eyes. "I was weak. I should have resisted more."

"For Pete's sake, Tony. You had a huge amount of 'God-knows-what' in your system. They had beaten the crap out of you. You'd been shocked. Just how on earth do you think you could have resisted? I'm surprised you resisted that long. I don't think anyone else could hold on so long."

"That's just another point. Why I wasn't able to keep myself from being abducted in the first place?"

"Two to one mean anything to you?"

"Come on, one of them was a girl."

"I saw the footage, Tony. Despite being shot three times, you still managed to bring the guy down. That's a huge deal. You were outnumbered and no matter what you say, I believe you know that you couldn't bring _two_ serial killers down while you were injured. You're not Superman. And let's not forget that your mind was also trying to process why your backup was not by your side."

Tony didn't say anything.

"You did great, Tony. You held on way longer than anybody could and you gave them hell. That's something to be proud of." And he meant it.

"You'd make a good shrink, you know that, Boss? You just need to open up more often."

"I have my hands full." Gibbs let out a half smile. "Now, it's your turn. Talk."

"Talk about what? You said everything." Tony grabbed his beer again.

"Does that mean that you're good?"

"I'm good." Tony nodded. "Just. Please. Don't rely on me in the field yet. Have an eye over your shoulder or get someone who can have your six. I can't risk-"

"What the hell, DiNozzo? Have I been babbling the whole time? I trust you with my life and I've never, and I mean never, trusted anyone more than you with my six. You're the best young agent I've ever worked with. Mike is the other best and he was my boss at the time. So stop being sorry for yourself and look at it from another angle." He wasn't exactly used to talking so much and he sure wasn't used to praising any of his people, other than Abby, that much. But the situation demanded it.

They were both silent for a few seconds before Tony looked up at Gibbs. "Thanks, Boss. You've no idea how much your words mean to me."

"I'm not gonna let you beat yourself up over something that actually was a brilliant job. Now where is the damn dinner? I thought you ordered it."

"I did." Tony blinked in confusion. "I don't know where the delivery guy is. I'll call them again."

The ring of his cellphone stopped him. Looking at it, he saw Abby's name on the screen. "Hey Abs, what's up?" he answered the phone.

"Hi, Tony, do you by any chance know where I can find Gibbs? He's not answering his phone." Abby said through the phone.

"Yes, Abs. I know. He's here. Hang on a second." he handed the cellphone to Gibbs. "Your phone off, Boss?"

Gibbs frowned and checked his phone, it _was_ off. He tossed it to Tony to turn it on as he answered Abby. "What's up, Abby? Do you have anything for me?"

"First of all, Gibbs. What are you doing at Tony's? Because I know he's not at yours. You would've answered your phone if you were at your place. So tell me why you're there. Is everything OK? Tony is alright, right? I heard about the guy in autopsy and if Tony knows that he had been raped, then he must be at least a little upset, I know he doesn't show it, but it must be bad and you're there and your phone was off which was against your own rule and you were out of reach and-"

"Abby." Gibbs shouted finally, a smile of amusement on his face. "Do. You. Have. Anything. For. Me?" he repeated himself slowly.

"Yes. But I won't tell you anything until you answer my questions." Gibbs could _hear_ her pouting.

"Tony is fine. You just talked to him. Did he sound anything but fine to you?" He eyed Tony, who went to open the door for the delivery guy. "Now what is it?"

"I don't know where to start. But the most important part is I found a fingerprint that I don't think should be on Steve's clothes." Abby replied. "You have your eyebrow raised, right? Because I can imagine you right here with raised eyebrow. Anyway, this is really important and a little too scary. I don't know Gibbs. It's just... I couldn't believe it, so I ran every test twice. But it's true. And it's frightening, and- "

"Abs." Gibbs warned.

"Right. The fingerprints belong to Juliet Ricks."

"What?" Gibbs suddenly straightened in his seat. "The same Juliet Ricks?" He blurted out the name before he could stop himself.

**.**

**.**

**... TBC ...**


	7. Chapter 7

For Tony that name was like a slap in the face; or a punch to the gut. He felt like he was just hit by a bucket of freezing water and suddenly the air in the room was so thick he couldn't breathe. He didn't realize when his hand went limp and the food's boxes landed on the floor. He didn't hear the rest of Gibbs' conversation with Abby. He just felt Gibbs' hand on his shoulder and seconds later he was sitting on his couch; still too shocked to utter a word. But at least his hearing was back.

"Tony! Drink this. Hey... Tony." Gibbs offered him a glass of water.

Tony blinked a few times and finally his gaze got fixed on Gibbs'. "The same Juliet?" he asked.

Gibbs gave a stoic nod.

Tony didn't know why, but a chuckle left his mouth. "What's it? Is she the only rapist in the country, now? Have I suddenly got too lucky?"

Gibbs knew that Tony was in shock and he could totally understand it. He, himself, wasn't doing much better. It was just unbelievable. "The girl must be really sick. Can't believe she's back in D.C. and continuing what she was doing in less than two months. We'll catch her this time." he assured Tony.

Tony rubbed his eyes and just nodded.

"You're under protection detail until then."

"What?" Tony's head snapped up. "I understand if you want me off the case, but come on, Boss. Protection detail? Don't you think you're overreacting?"

"No, I don't. She might be back to finish her job. And there's no way that I'd let her succeed. You're under my protection till we catch her, and that's final. You'll either stay at the office when I'm not there, or you'll have me around. You're not going anywhere alone. Not even to get a coffee."

"You can't be se-" Tony stopped himself when he saw Gibbs' glare. "Of course, you can." he sighed. "At least let me work on the case. I know I said I wanna resign and I know you said it was too close to home for me, but I need to be in on this one. I want her down. I can't just sit aside and let you have all the fun."

Gibbs assessed his words for a few seconds. "Alright. Let's go then. We've a _psychopathic_ rapist who's begging us to catch her."

Tony nodded and went to his room to change his clothes. He was anxious but he could feel a flare of anger rising up in him, he we getting tired of being scared all the time. He wanted it to stop and the only way to do that was to catch the dirtbag.

Something in Tony's eyes was bothering Gibbs. Desolation. That was it. He just hopped that he had made the right decision by letting Tony in on the case. This case was now too important. He knew that whatever happened at the end, it would affect Tony's final decision. He would either run away and never look back and beat himself up over the events of the last few weeks, or he would overcome his doubts and would defeat his inner demons.

He prayed for the latter to happen. Knowing very well that _'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.'_ And if Tony could walk out of this one, he would be even stronger.

Deep down he knew Tony would be fine. He knew that Tony would once again prove that he was way more resilient than any other agent and person he'd ever known. His gut was telling him that things would be fine and he had yet to doubt his gut feelings.

...

"Gibbs, you're here." Abby jumped from her seat but stopped when she saw Tony behind Gibbs. "And so are you, Tony."

She turned to Gibbs and signed. _'What is he doing here? You can't do this to him, Gibbs.'_

Gibbs held up his hand and signed back. _'He wanted in and he has a good reason. Besides, I believe that bringing down the girl will help him to bounce back. He has started to doubt himself.'_

Abby gasped. _'Oh my God. You have to talk to him. How can he doubt himself? What he did that night was great. That's why you were with him tonight, isn't it? How is he really? What-'_

Tony finally had had enough. "Guys. You do realize that I'm still here, right? I might not know sign language, but I can tell when someone talks about me." He paused. "Or sign about me." He shrugged. "Talk aloud or just ask me to leave. I understand if you want to have a private conversation."

"No Tony. Sorry. I was just worried. I mean... Oh Tony, are you alright? I just asked Gibbs why he had let you to come because it's so unnerving to face that bitch in such a short time and I'm not even sorry to use that language about her and I know you're strong but I also know that you've been hurt and -"

"Abby, please?" Tony cut her off. He forced a smile to reassure her. "I'm fine. I want to make sure that she gets what she deserves, and I'm not talking just about myself, there were 5 other victims, 6 if we count Steve too.

"Umm, I don't think she's involved in this one. I mean she probably has been the rapist. But according to Ducky's Autopsy he was beaten to death and I doubt even _she_ likes to rape a corpse; I mean, from what we've gathered it doesn't seem that necrophilia is really her thing. And I asked Ducky and he said that the estimate time of getting raped is almost one day before the time of death."

"Don't think she would come back to finish her job." Tony concluded. "Have you found any other fingerprints?"

"No, just Steve's and Lisa's."

"Maybe it's Lisa." Tony looked at Gibbs.

"And what would be her motives?"

"Andrea, the roommate, she thought that Lisa was getting serious with Steve. She said that Lisa wouldn't say anything; because she was afraid it might end badly again. Maybe -"

"Again?" Abby was curious.

"Yes. Apparently she had been engaged before, and her fiancé had betrayed her. She was really in love with him and that incident was too hard for her to accept. Andrea said that she was really depressed for a long time."

"Back to your theory." Gibbs growled. "You think she might have thought that Steve had betrayed her, too, and so she had killed him?"

"It sounded more logical in my head." Tony scratched the back of his head, unsure.

"That's a theory. We can work on it. Did anyone interview the neighbors?"

"Yes. You sent McGee and Ziva to do it. Ziva said that the only one that they had been able to find was an old couple living the next door."

"When did she say that?" Gibbs frowned.

"When she got back from the scene. I guess you stopped listening when she said that they didn't have anything useful." Tony couldn't hide his grin.

Gibbs growled. "We have to interview them again."

"Sorry to break it to you, Gibbs. But it's 0215 in the morning. You'll have to wait." Abby sat at her desk.

"Then go and get some sleep before the day starts. DiNozzo, you're with me."

"Uh, I don't think so, Boss."

"Then I'm with you."

Tony rolled his eyes. "You were serious about the... Uh... The P thing." He didn't want to name it, so Abby wouldn't be worried.

"Damn right I was."

"About what? What's the P thing?" Abby narrowed her eyes.

"Nothing. Let's go, DiNozzo." Gibbs walked out of the lab.

"Just one more thing, Tony." She called out to get Tony's attention.

"What, Abs?"

"How old is this Andrea girl?" She grinned.

"Why? You wanna date her?"

"No, I thought _you_ might wanna date her." She asked, her arms folded.

Tony smiled kindly. "She wasn't my type, Abby."

"Tell me, is anyone your type these days?" She questioned worriedly.

"Honestly? No." Tony was tired of hiding the truth. He knew everyone could see that he didn't flirt with any woman. But he didn't care. He had more important things on his mind.

Abby's face fell. She walked towards Tony and hugged him. "It's gonna be alright. You don't need to push it. You'll find the right girl and you'll be really happy and then you'll make me Auntie Abby."

Tony actually laughed at the last part. "Yeah, sure, Auntie Abby. I better go now, though. Gibbs is waiting, remember?"

Abby nodded reluctantly and let him go after kissing him on the right cheek.

...

"Are you sure you're up for this, DiNozzo? Are you alright?" Gibbs asked the next morning when he and Tony headed out to question Steve's neighbors. When they left the office, McGee and Ziva still weren't there and Gibbs was in no mood to wait a second longer.

"I'm always alright, Boss." Tony grinned. A good night sleep had helped him a lot. And although he was still worried about himself and his reactions, the determination for catching Juliet Ricks was giving him the much needed power. "Besides, we're just going to ask a few questions."

"Good. Let's roll then." Gibbs left the car and walked towards the first door.

Half an hour later, they had asked almost all the neighbors and were still on the same spot as they were the night before.

A teenage boy, standing in front of Steve's sealed door, caught Tony's eye. "Hey Boss. Look over there."

"He looks shocked. Let's find out why."

They both walked towards the boy.

"Did you know the guy?" Tony asked as they reached the boy and each of them stood by one of his sides.

The boy looked up and all color left his face. "I didn't see anything, I swear. I didn't even know the guy. I... I was just passing and the door caught my eye. I... Please... Let me go. I don't know what you want." He was shaking badly.

"Hey, hey. Calm down. Slow breathes." Tony put his hand on his shoulder. "We're not here to hurt you."

Gibbs brought out his badge. "We're federal agents. NCIS."

"Navy cops?" The badge and soothing words had worked and the boy was way calmer. "Why? Steve has never been in the force."

"So you knew the guy." Tony stated and got a nod in response. "OK, I'm Tony and this is my boss, special agent Gibbs. Can you tell us your name?"

"Ah, Tony?"

"Yes. I'm Tony. Now what's _your_ name?"

"Tony. My _name_ is Tony, too."

"Oh." Tony blinked and then smiled. "Cool name, boy."

The boy chuckled.

"Great. Now we have two Tonys." Gibbs mumbled.

"He has a point, you know?" Tony shrugged. "We need to call you something else for a while. What do you like?"

"I like my name." He protested. "But sometimes my friends call me T. You can do the same."

"Alright, T. Now would you please tell us how you knew Steve? And what have you seen?"

"I... Um... I saw his girlfriend. She used to come here a lot. Oh, that's why _you_ are here. She was working for the Navy. I once saw her wearing her uniform. She was beautiful."

Both agents' eyebrows shot up at that.

"What? I'm old enough." T sulked.

Tony stifled his laugh. "Alright, go on. Did you know Steve well?"

"Yes. He was giving me Piano lessons. Two days ago was the last time that I saw him. It was around 8 in the evening; Steve was so distracted and upset. I hadn't seen him for a week, so I didn't know what was wrong. His place was a little… Um... Messy, which was really weird if you knew Steve the way I did. Steve's place is always neat. Was." T changed the verb when he remembered that Steve was probably dead. "Anyway, I asked him what had happened. But he didn't say anything. He was shaking mildly and when his girlfriend, Lisa, walked in, Steve asked me to leave. And well, I left." He explained. "I... Is he... Dead?" He couldn't help but ask again.

"I'm sorry. Yes." Tony squeezed his shoulder.

"When Lisa arrived, did you feel anything weird? How was she? What was Steve's reaction?" Gibbs asked.

"Um, I don't know..." T shrugged. "She looked upset. Like really really upset. Her eyes were red and puffy; like she has been crying. I felt something was off. But I couldn't do anything. So I just left. Wait. Is Lisa dead, too? I've never talked to her, but she seemed like a nice girl and she was so beaut- .. Oh I guess, I've said that once before." He blushed.

Tony smiled at T's blushed face. "No T, she's not dead. But we're looking for her."

"You were a great help, boy. Thanks." Gibbs smiled down at him. "You should go to school, now. And don't think about Steve and that night. Alright?"

"But he wouldn't be dead if I haven't left. Maybe I could do something."

"Hey, what happened to him wasn't your fault; you couldn't possibly do anything to change it. You shouldn't blame yourself over something that is not your fault. Am I clear?" Tony asked firmly.

T nodded after a few seconds. "Yes, I guess. Thanks. Umm... Should I call you if I remember anything? I mean the cops always say that in the movies."

Tony chuckled as Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Sure. Call me if you remember anything else. Or even if you don't and you just need to talk." Tony passed him his card. "And don't mind my Boss. He's not a big fan of movies."

"Really?" T's eyes widened. "How could you not be?" He looked at Gibbs.

"Well, you wouldn't like them either, if you had a DiNozzo- Tony" He corrected as he remembered that T didn't know Tony's full name. "Around, 24/7. I've heard enough movie quotes that I'm turning to an expert myself. Now go and don't even think about using us as an excuse for being late. Go." He patted the kid's back and sent him away.

"Quite a speech. Someone should recite that to you." Gibbs told Tony before striding towards their Sedan.

"What are you talking about exactly?"

"The speech you gave T, about not blaming himself over something out of his power."

"Ah... Umm. That's different." Tony murmured.

"Yes, the scenario is slightly different. But the case is still the same. Just listen to yourself, DiNozzo."

Tony didn't say anything, he actually was thinking about his own words and Gibbs'. Maybe Gibbs was right.

"So, what's your theory?"

"I'll stick to my original theory. I think Lisa couldn't take another betrayal. And if Steve had told her about being raped, she probably hadn't believed him. She had killed Steve and took off."

"If that's true, we have a murderer to catch and we still have to prove your theory." Gibbs said as they both got in the car and headed to the navy yard.

...

"He knew us." Tony said as they entered the elevator.

"Who?"

"T... He knew what NCIS stands for. That just proves all Tonys are awesome." He grinned cockily.

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Maybe he's the younger you."

"Ah Boss, didn't know you were interested in metaphysics."

"Boss." McGee jumped from his seat as soon as the elevator dinged and Tony and Gibbs stepped out, cutting off Tony's conversation with Gibbs.

Gibbs was tired of correcting him, but McGee corrected himself. "I mean, Agent Gibbs. I was looking into Lieutenant Markham's past and I found out that she just has a sister. I think we should give her a call. Maybe she knows where we can find her."

"Who's the sister? Why haven't we heard about her earlier?"

"Because there was nothing official in her file. Apparently they have not talked to each other for years and we thought she passed away like her parents. But she is alive and a friend of Lieutenant Markham said that the sister was back to DC and had met Lisa a few days before she went missing." Ziva explained. "I am.. _We_ are trying to find her number." She said excitedly, happy to feel useful.

"Do you know anything about her?" Tony asked dryly.

"About who? Lieutenant Markham?" McGee looked confused.

Tony fought the urge to give some sharp answer. "Her sister." He said icily, his eyes boring into McGee's skull.

McGee gulped. "Uh, yes, her. We just know that her name is Elina and I have a picture of her, but it's kinda old, like I don't know, 10 years old. It wasn't in her file but I managed to find it." He said as he grabbed the remote control and turned the big screen on to show the picture of Elina Markham.

Or Juliet Ricks.

**.**

**.**

**... TBC ...**


	8. Chapter 8

Tony's face turned pale as he saw the picture on the screen. It might be too young to be Juliet, but it was her nevertheless. Ten years hadn't changed her that much. Tony could never forget those eyes. How could he when he had been seeing them almost every night, for the past few weeks?

He felt lightheaded, and before he could embarrass himself by breaking down in front of everyone, he stormed out of the bullpen, with Gibbs a few seconds behind him.

"What just happened?" Ziva looked at their backs with confusion.

"I don't know." McGee replied slowly. "It seemed like Tony knew the girl."

"Maybe he had slept with her, No?"

"I don't know. Why would he react like that if that was the reason?"

"I guess we'll just have to wait and ask him later." Ziva shrugged and sat on her chair, continuing her search for finding Elina's number.

...

Gibbs found Tony in the gym. Tony was punching the bag furiously. All his emotions had turned to white hot rage and he needed to hit something or _someone_. So here he was, beating the crap out of the poor punching bag. Gibbs stood aside and let him unload his rage.

After a few long minutes, finally Tony stopped. He still was irritated, but he was out of breath and suddenly he felt that - What had Ducky called it? Sudden fatigue? Yeah- sudden fatigue overcame him. He sagged to the floor and closed his eyes. Gibbs was by his side in an instant.

"You alright?"

"Give me a minute." Tony murmured as he rubbed his chest spontaneously.

Gibbs sat there silently, thinking about calling Ducky. But he knew that the old ME couldn't do anything to help Tony. So he let him just rest to get his strength back.

Finally, Tony's hand fell from his chest and he took a deep breath. "I'm alright."

"OK. Let's move you to one of those chairs." Gibbs helped him up. "You wanna talk about it?" He asked as they sat on the chairs.

"Not really. I mean there's nothing to talk about. I don't even know why I reacted like that. It's just... Well, for a second I couldn't see anything but red. And I still don't know the reason. It's not like I didn't know that Juliet, or Elina? Or whatever, was involved, already."

"Maybe her picture was the trigger; or finding out that she's the sister of our missing lieutenant." Gibbs helped.

"I don't know. I just know that -"

"Boss." McGee rushed in. "I think we found the sister. Elina, I mean." He panted. "I mean, well, we didn't find her exactly. Lieutenant Markham's friend found her. She gave us a call just a few minutes ago."

Tony and Gibbs were out of the door before he could finish.

"Where?" Gibbs shouted over his shoulder.

"Uh, right. I'll just tell you." He entered the elevator. He couldn't say why he was feeling so bad, Tony's pale visage could be a reason. Being in the elevator with both Gibbs and Tony could be an even better one.

"Hurry up, McGee. Spit it. We can't lose her again." Gibbs barked.

"Again?" McGee couldn't get what Gibbs was talking about; he couldn't understand why it was so important or why they were acting like she was a fugitive.

"McGee." Gibbs shouted.

"Sorry. Sorry. Um, Miss Park, Lieutenant Markham's friend called and said that she is at her place with her. She said that Elina claimed that she needed a place for tonight."

"Has she told her that we're looking for her?"

"I do not think so." Ziva stepped in the conversation. "She does not know that. Here," She handed Tony a piece of paper with a number on it. "This is her number. You can call her and talk to her, yourself. Why is Elina so important? We are a team, yes? It seems like we two do not know everything."

"The address." Tony ignored her and asked McGee.

McGee silently gave him the address to her place.

"At least tell us what we should do." Ziva called out. But Gibbs and Tony were gone.

She cursed in Hebrew under her breath. "First they let us in. Then they do not tell us a damn thing. We have worked hard to find that information. Is it that hard to tell us what is going on?"

"I think this Elina is more important than we think. When I found them in the gym, Tony was so pale. He looked really spent." McGee stared at Elina's picture on the screen. "Maybe Abby can tell us something."

"Abby does not talk to us."

"She will if we tell her we're worried for Tony. They might need backup. Come on. Let's go to Abby."

...

"Abby?"

"What do you want?" She answered coldly.

"We have a question. It's about the case." McGee added quickly before Abby could throw them out.

"I don't have all day. Hurry up." Abby said when they didn't say anything.

"Ah, right. I thought I should wait for your permission."

"Permission granted." She said sarcastically.

"Do you know anything about Elina Markham? She's Lieutenant Markham's sister. Here is her picture. It's old, though." McGee showed her Elina's picture on his cellphone.

Abby's face dropped.

"Abby? You know her?"

"You said this person is Lisa's sister. You sure about it?"

"Positive. Why?"

"Because McGee, she is not Elina Markham; or at least not anymore. She's Juliet Ricks."

"And who is Juliet Ricks? How is that we do not know anything about her and why is she so important?" Ziva asked.

"Because you weren't there when you should have been. Because you are the reason she's out there, raping people and killing them. Because she's the girl that raped Tony while you two jackasses where enjoying your time out there. That's why, Ziva David." She shouted angrily at them.

Ziva and McGee were more than just shocked. They felt like their lungs were on fire and they were having a hard time breathing.

"Where are they? Where are Tony and Gibbs? Do they know about her?" She asked without any sympathy for their paled faces.

"They left." McGee whispered. "They didn't say a word; they just grabbed their gears and left us behind."

"Oh, now you wanna help? Of course they would leave you behind. They don't trust you, you dumbass. You're the reason for all the mess."

"McGee, come on, we need to go after them. They might need backup." Ziva turned around and ran out of the lab.

Abby grabbed Bert and sat on her chair, anxiously staring at her lab door.

...

"You ready for this?" Gibbs asked as they reached their destination.

Tony hesitated, but nodded finally.

"DiNozzo, look at me. Look at me." Gibbs repeated firmly when Tony refused to look him in the eyes. "All you need to do is stop doubting yourself and everything will be fine. You're great at this, Tony. Have some faith."

"You know, you'd make a good priest, too." Tony grinned.

Gibbs grunted.

They checked their weapons before putting them back in their holsters and then they left the car. They didn't expect any kind of commotion, but one can never be too careful.

...

They didn't really expect things to go sour and yes they were still pretty much ready. But they expected to at least knock at the door, confront Juliet, and then see some reaction. They sure weren't ready for being attacked from a window before they even reached the door.

Miss Park had told them that Juliet, or Elina as it was the name she was using again, wasn't aware of the fact that NCIS was looking for her. She hadn't even mentioned anything about them working on her sister's case. She was sure that Juliet didn't know that they wanted to question her. But apparently Juliet was cautious enough to check everyone who approached the house.

**.**

**.**

**... TBC ...**


	9. Chapter 9

Everything had happened so fast. Merely one second before everything started, Tony caught a glimpse of a gun from the corner of his eye and then he saw Juliet aiming her gun towards them. He knew he didn't have enough time to pull out his gun and take Juliet down before she could pull the trigger, so he did the only thing that came to his mind.  
  
Shoving Gibbs aside, he plunged forward to avoid getting shot.  
  
 _'One second too late.'_ He thought when he felt a hot pain run through his arm.  
  
Pushing himself up, Gibbs pulled Tony towards the door, where they were out of Juliet's sight. Miss Park flung the door open and ran towards them. "Oh my God. What the hell is going on? He's shot. Oh, I didn't know Elina was a suspect or that she had a gun. I mean I know you didn't want her to know anything, but this? Oh God. I'm so sorry." She knelt beside Tony.  
  
"Hey, I'm fine. It's just a flesh wound." Tony reassured. "Does your place have a back door?"  
  
"Of course it has. But Elina can't get out of there. I have a big bulldog and she hates her by all means." She replied.  
  
"Good. Then you stay here. Whatever happens, I want you to stay here. You hear me Lieutenant Park?" Gibbs said in his best Marine voice.  
  
"Yes, Sir." She obeyed.  
  
Gibbs and Tony started to get inside the house. "How bad is your wound?"  
  
"Not bad. Like I said, just a flesh wound." Tony said quietly.  
  
"Oh, I'm fine too. Except that I'm going to have a bruised shoulder in a few hours." Gibbs quipped.  
  
"I'm not sorry. Bruised shoulder is better than a hole in your head."  
  
Gibbs glared at him but now wasn't the time to show his emotions or to thank Tony for saving his life; or for telling him that he did a great job. They had a serial killer to arrest.  
  
"NCIS. Juliet Ricks put your weapon down and leave the room, slowly." Gibbs yelled.  
  
"You can come and catch me if you want me so bad."  
  
"Or I can come in and put a bullet in your head. Come out with your hands up." Tony shouted as they almost reached the room that had her inside.  
  
Tony's voice caught her attention; she didn't have a good view from her position, so she couldn't see Tony's face. His voice was familiar, though.  
  
That was the distraction they needed, jumping into the room, they surprised her. She turned to run from the other side but was stopped by Ziva and McGee, who had just arrived and entered the room from the back. Miss Park was standing behind them, trying to hold her dog back.  
  
"Juliet Ricks, or should I say Elina Markham? You're under arrest for committing five murders and attempted murder of a federal agent." Gibbs said and motioned to Ziva to read her her rights and cuff her.  
  
"I thought I told you to stay out." He said to the lieutenant in a grumpy voice.  
  
"Someone had to keep Sady from tearing your agents apart." She shrugged.  
  
Gibbs shook his head in amusement. "Thank you for your cooperation. We'll need you later at NCIS to take your statement."  
  
"I'll be there today afternoon." She nodded before escorting them out of her house as they left.  
  
"DiNozzo, with me. You two get her to the office and put her in an interrogation room. Nobody talks to her before I come back. Clear?"  
  
"Yes." They both nodded.  
  
...  
  
Gibbs drove Tony to the hospital for his arm, not listening to him when he insisted to being checked by Ducky. Gibbs wanted to make sure that Tony didn't need to stay the night in the hospital.  
  
True to Tony's words, it was just a flesh wound, but it still needed some stitches. They left the hospital an hour later and headed towards their car.  
  
Tony groaned as Gibbs hit him hard over the head again. "Oww, Boss. You're getting a little too harsh in your head slaps, you know?" He rubbed his head with his free hand; the other was in a sling.  
  
"That was for being reckless." Gibbs noted, then turned around and stood in front of Tony, looking him straight in the eyes. He put his hand on Tony's cheek and patted slowly. "Thanks for saving my life."  
  
Tony smiled. "Anytime, Boss."  
  
"You owe me 20 bucks." Gibbs said as he walked towards their car.  
  
Tony's eyes widened. "What for?"  
  
"I won the bet."  
  
"What bet?"  
  
"You doubted yourself, I didn't. Turned out I was right."  
  
Tony felt delighted as his boss' word. "Yeah, OK. But we haven't bet on it."  
  
"I have."  
  
"Huh. Of course." Tony chuckled and shook his head in amusement.  
  
...  
  
Back at the office they went straight to the interrogation room but before they could enter, Abby appeared out of nowhere and slammed herself into Tony.  
  
"Tony, Oh God. I was so worried. Are you alright?"  
  
"He'll be, Abby if you let him breathe. You're hurting his arm." Gibbs gently pulled Abby away. "Oh my God, You're hurt again. That's not fair, why didn't anyone tell me anything?"  
  
"He saved my life." Gibbs informed.  
  
"Boss." Tony growled.  
  
Gibbs smiled inwardly. He was proud of Tony, but not because he had taken a bullet for him, he was just thankful for that.  
  
No, he was proud because Tony had his six even when he was struggling with his emotions and battling his demons. He was proud that his best agent and partner had been able to pull himself through every trouble, one more time; proving everyone, including himself, that he was way stronger than anyone could imagine.  
  
"Oh, you saved him again, Tony." She pulled him into another hug.  
  
Tony patted her back. "It comes with the job, Abs and you know it. Are you alright?"  
  
"Me? Of course I'm alright. Actually I've never been better. You're gonna go in there and tear that bitch a new one, right?"  
  
Gibbs smirked in response.  
  
"I'll watch it from the observation room." She said excitedly, bouncing up and down, before entering the observation room. Once inside, she froze and her face darkened when she found McGee and Ziva there. "You shouldn't be here. Go back to your desks. There's nothing for you to watch."  
  
"We brought her in. We have the right to stay." Ziva said back.  
  
"Yeah, but Tony and Gibbs -" she stopped mid-sentence. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea for them to stay and watch. She decided to let them stay, so she just turned her attention to the big glass and remained silent.  
  
In the other room, Juliet looked up as Tony and Gibbs entered the room. "I remember you." She said to Tony and smirked. "we had so much fun. Maybe we could repeat it some other time."  
  
"You remember when I said you're not my type? Guess what, you're still not my type. Like I said, I don't date crazy bitches who counts raping people a leisure activity." Tony said calmly. His icy tone surprised even himself. He always thought that if he could find Juliet, he'd strangle her with his bare hands. But now he was so calm, so indifferent, and so professional. It was that moment when he realized that he had finally moved on.  
  
"I want a lawyer."  
  
"Oh you'll need one. Although I'd say that there's no way they would be able to help you. Is there, DiNozzo?"  
  
Tony shook his head. "No. Not with a witness alive and not with a coward partner who's confessed to all the crimes; and sure not with her fingerprints all over Steve's place."  
  
She cursed under her breath and folded her arms.  
  
Gibbs nodded. "No way out of this. So you better talk and save us some precious time. Or you could waste the time; it doesn't matter. DiNozzo and I have lots of time."  
  
"We can even take shifts." Tony grinned.  
  
Gibbs thought. "Hmm... yeah. I can get coffee that way."  
  
Juliet looked at them with disgust. "Do whatever you like. I didn't do anything."  
  
"Well, you see. You've already confessed to the attempted murder and torture of a federal agent." Gibbs smirked. Juliet's face turned red with anger.  
  
"And we have enough evidence to prove that you killed Steven Murray." Tony continued. "Not to mention that your partner in the other five murders will instantly testify against you. He doesn't want to be the only one getting punished for those crimes."  
  
"I didn't kill Steve, or anyone else."  
  
"OK. Accomplice in murder. Doesn't change your situation that much."  
  
"I don't have anything to do with Steve's death. We'd only been together for one night."  
  
"Isn't it better to say that you forced yourself to him?" Tony asked casually.  
  
"What's the big deal? It was just one night. He could've just accepted me." She stated angrily. "We had fun. I can say that he was enjoying it. Then suddenly that crazy bitch found us together and the next day Steve was dead." She shouted. "She was so weak that she couldn't even feel content for her success. She just had to kill herself. That bitch."  
  
Gibbs' and Tony's demeanor darkened.  
  
"You killed them both, didn't you?" Tony asked.  
  
"I said I didn't kill anyone." She gritted out. "Lisa's the one who killed her boyfriend. The other night, I went to Steve's place to talk to him - "  
  
"To assault him again, you mean?" Tony's voice was filled with disdain.  
  
She turned her gaze to Gibbs. "I found Lisa at his house. The guy was dead and she was still beating him."  
  
"The craziness runs in the family, I guess." Tony said sarcastically. It seemed like both sisters were almost the same, it just had taken different reasons for them to show their true personality.  
  
"I'm nothing like her." She pounded her fist on the table. "I changed my name because I didn't want to have anything to do with that bitch."  
  
Tony snorted. "The way you talk, I'd swear you were a virgin, if I didn't know better."  
  
"You son of a bitch." She lost her control and jumped forward to hit Tony. Easily Tony and Gibbs grabbed her and pinned her down.  
  
"You think we should add this one to her list of crimes?" Tony pushed her back to her seat with his good arm.  
  
"That would be lost in the long list, anyway." Gibbs shrugged as he sat down. "Tell us where your sister is."  
  
"I told you, she's dead. I didn't even touch her worthless body."  
  
"Where is she?"  
  
"Her body you mean?" She smirked. There was no trace of sadness for losing her only family on her face or in her voice.  
  
 _'She really is sick.'_ Tony couldn't help but think that.  
  
"Give me a piece of paper. Would you?" She leaned forward." I'll write the address for you. It's better if you collect her freaking body. I'm not that heartless." She chuckled at her own words.  
  
Gibbs stood up and turned towards the mirror. "Bring her a piece of paper and get the address, then take her confession."  
  
"You can't keep me long in here." She said confidently.  
  
"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you." Tony said before leaving the interrogation room with Gibbs, just as McGee and Ziva entered the room.  
  
"She wasn't even sad about losing her only family. Just what could happen to someone to turn them into a monster like her?" Tony said once he was alone with Gibbs in the corridor.  
  
"People always have a choice. This has been her choice. Having mental issues just helped it." He replied. "You did well, DiNozzo." He smiled.  
  
"Thanks, Boss. I actually feel good." He smiled back, then Abby walked out of the observation room; her eyes rimmed red.  
  
"Abs? What's wrong? Did those two idiots say anything to you?" Gibbs asked, immediately changing to the protective mode.  
  
"What? No." She sniffed. "I don't know why I started crying. I just couldn't stop my tears when I saw her jump towards Tony. The images of that footage came to my mind and I just lost my control." She sniffed again.  
  
Tony hugged her with his good arm. "I'm sorry you had to watch it, Abby."  
  
"And I'm sorry you had to feel It." Her voice was muffled with her face buried in Tony's broad shoulder.  
  
"Alright, enough with mushy stuff." Gibbs growled and Tony let Abby go with a smile  
  
"So they didn't say anything?" Gibbs nodded his head towards the interrogation room, showing that he was talking about McGee and Ziva.  
  
"No. They were too shocked, I guess; which is good. I think they really are sorry. You can't just let them off the hook, yet. But I think you can start to trust them a little and hey, don't let them know that. I mean of course, if you're OK with that, Tony. I know that I won't stop giving them hell." She smirked.  
  
"No, I think it's OK, Abs. They showed up when they weren't asked. Seems like they really wanna prove themselves. Plus, they had turned down the toothpick's offer to be transferred to another team with a higher position than Probies."  
  
Gibbs' raised an eyebrow. "And how do you know that?"  
  
Tony smirked. "I still have my sources, Boss."  
  
"Inside the director's office?" Gibbs shook his head in amusement.  
  
"WOW, did they really do that?" Abby said incredulously. "Maybe we should give them another chance."  
  
"We have already given them more than a second chance, or they wouldn't be here right now." Gibbs said as he stalked out of the corridor. "Come on, DiNozzo. We still have work to do. And I don't mean paperwork. We'll leave that to the Probies. We need to get the Lieutenant's statement, too."  
  
Tony grinned at that. "On your six, Boss." He put his free arm around Abby's shoulder and led her out.  
  
"I'm not gonna let my defenses down, before you say so, Tony. I'll always have your back. You know that, right?"  
  
"I know, Abs." He kissed the top of her head. "And thanks for that. I don't think I could get out of this one if it wasn't for you guys. I owe you big time."  
  
"Hey, what are friends for? But, will you buy me an extra large Caf-Pow? And don't tell Gibbs, because then he wouldn't let me drink it and he would give you headslaps and -"  
  
"I'll buy that for you, Abs and it'll be just between you and me. As long as you don't get yourself drowned in Caf-Pows." Tony laughed.  
  
He actually was happy. It almost felt like that a burden had been lifted off his shoulders.  
  
All in a span of one day he had arrested Juliet and had proved to himself that he was able to bounce back again. He felt more confident now that he had been able to have Gibbs' six when it mattered.  
  
And it felt even better when he thought about the last few days. Gibbs' words and Abby's supports; Ducky's help and everything else were just some more needed proof for him, showing that he had people around who really cared about him and were there for him when he was wounded, physically and emotionally. They were there and they'd made sure that he'd be fine, even when he had given up on himself. And now he was ready to stand on his own two feet again and be sure that he wouldn't fall down.  
  
After all, it's true, that ' _What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.'_  
  
.  
  
.  
  
-The End-


End file.
